Life isn’t always easy. Frustration and anger are a part of being human. When anger bellows and its energy ripples through you, what happens to your body? How do you react/respond?
Yell? Complain? Pout? Bolt? Or worse … chirp, “Oh, it’s okay?”
When you’re upset, frustrated, or angry do you spend money, in that “I’ll show them” kind of way? Eat, drink, and be not-so-merry? Pick on someone less than your own size or anyone who might be within range?
Whatever your frustration and anger style, if you feel guilty after being angry, take a look at that too.
(As an aside, the words “guilt” and “guillotine” are right next to each other in the dictionary. I’m just saying.)
Are you afraid of healthy adult anger, when it’s justified?
Do you give people enough time and space to correct the situation or do you run head first at them? Did someone intentionally hurt you; or is it a situation that’s just a part of the odd and crusty movements of life?
To get to a resolution, you must seek and consider the tap root from which your anger comes.
When you’re on a spiritual path it’s easy to forget that not everybody else is. Yet, it’s not a mono world. Many are not curious or growing in the direction in which you may have chosen to grow. That doesn’t make them wrong. Their direction makes it their life, not yours.
“Life doesn’t guarantee agreement. It does guarantee movement, one way or another.”
Take a look at your anger style and, perhaps, try a different way. Like the audio below.
Try not to go the “holier than thou” way. Souls don’t know how to show off.
If you’re not skilled at turning the other cheek, any disingenuous attempt to do so may bite you in the tukus.
Faking being cool when you’re hot under the collar can drive your upset deeper into your body. Negative energy birthed from those thoughts gets packed away in your body. Not a good idea.
Address issues straight on with facts. Why facts? Because most disagreements, occur and get solved on the binary or transactional levels of life’s interactions. Of course they can be saturated with emotions, making the situation bigger, nastier, and more hurtful.
Some version of, “This is mine, not yours”, or “I’m right, you’re wrong”, are the generalized battle cries of anger within life’s contexts.
If you have facts, you have a good chance of resolving the issue. If it’s an opinionated or belief-based situation, hold your ground with openness to potentially learn something new from the other side. Trust yourself; and remain intuitively open to hear what really going on… within you and the other person.
If that is impossible for you or them to agree, bow and exit stage right or left. (That statement is not intended to infer political leanings, but certainly can.)
Below are reasonable, self-aware, and respectful ideas to deal with your anger in the moment.
- First and foremost, breathe, low and deep into your body.
- If it’s obvious or you intuitively feel at risk, leave the situation. Get the heck out of the way.
- After an issue has occurred — you’ve read an email, had a phone call, or face-to-face conversation (altercation) — get out into nature and move your body. Shift the energy and your mind. Nature will reset your torqued primal nature, moving you away from anger and into greater clarity and calm. Bird’s songs can shift the nervous system from fight/flight/freeze into a calmer mode in as little as 15 minutes.
- If you’re inside a building and can’t get outside in the moment, look out the window. Breathe in and out. Visually find the farthest point of focus away from where you are. A long-range vista will shift the brain and nervous system too. Perspective changes everything.
- Check in with your body to feel where the internal pot is boiling. Belly? Throat? Forehead? Chest? Lower back? Breathe in and take your mind into that area. Exhale out the energy of frustration. Listen to the language your body is pouting, touting, or shouting. What do you hear? Write it down. Act on what is factual, healing, and necessary for you in the moment.
After you’ve calmed down, step back, and ask yourself three things:
- Can I correct the situation in this moment? If not, breathe and keep moving on with your day. The solution will arise in time.
- Did I have a role in creating this experience? If so, what needs to rebalance in me?
- Do I have a general issue of self-trust or trusting others that may be voiced in this moment of anger?
Look, we all get ticked off. But if anger is rolling through your life more than ever before, you need to step back and take a break. Take some time off. Get into yourself, by yourself, or with a therapist or coach. Listen to your body, heart, and soul. Get perspective.
Strong long-lasting emotions are a signal from the soul. You’re out of alignment and your mojo is scrambled. And a short fuse is a clear sign of overwhelm and exhaustion.
Life is short. Trust that there are no mistaken side roads in your life. No matter what, you have not been taken off your path. This goes for personal, societal, and global paths. These are your paths too; you’re part of this planet’s ecosystem.
“If where you are now wasn’t your path, your feet would be in a different place.”
Life is difficult enough. Take care of yourself when you’re hurting. Bring peace and perspective to your difficult situations and be willing to open to what is. It’s okay. You’re okay. Life is weird and not a straight line.
“What’s next always follows, melting into the perception of the new now.”
Listen to the Metta Meditation and ease and awaken your heart and soul.